• Shara Hutchinson

How Many Miles To Motherhood?

During a long-distance run, you are more likely to quit because you have what seems to be a far way to go. The only way to ensure you get to the finish line is to train your mind

to push yourself, even when your body wants to give up. This journey with infertility is definitely more of a long-distance run, even a marathon, than a sprint. There will be times when your goal of being a mom, the finish line, seems so far away but you want it to happen quickly. You may see other “runners” or women in the same race have their babies before you, but you cannot get distracted by that. It is important to maintain a healthy pace for yourself, because you don’t want to run out of energy before reaching the goal. No matter what happens along the way, if you have predetermined in your mind that you will not quit, you won’t, even when you experience fatigue and other physical ailments. If you are going to be a mom, you must learn to control your thoughts. One of my favorite quotes is this: “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another”– William James. I really believe this to be true and it really helped me. When I used to have thoughts of doubt, I read through all the success stories of women who had multiple failures, and then finally got their babies and didn’t quit. Then I thought to myself, if it can happen for them it is still possible for me. One of my greatest motivations to continue my pursuit of being a mom was seeing the results of others, and praying and knowing that my time was coming!

Here are tactics you can use to train your mind to choose positive thoughts over negative thoughts:

  • Pay close attention to what you are thinking about. When a negative thought arises, find a positive one to counteract it. For example, when I was going through my second IVF cycle, I had moments where I reflected on the fact that my first one failed and I thought to myself, “What if this one fails too?” Instead of dwelling on that negative thought, I decided to focus on the “now” and think about the fact that I had a chance to try again. I then asked myself a new question: “What if it actually works this time?”

  • Find something to be thankful for every day. It’s hard to keep a positive mindset when you only focus on what’s going wrong.

  • Try to look for the positive in every situation. After having my ectopic and getting both fallopian tubes removed, I was a little upset that I would never be able to get pregnant naturally. Instead of focusing on that, I realized that the bright side was that I still had my uterus and ovaries, so I could still get pregnant; I would just need intervention each time. Then I thought of another positive: after having my babies, I would not have to worry about what type of birth control I was going to use because after all, I wouldn’t need it.

  • Learn to control your emotions. Never make an important decision while you are very emotional (too sad, too happy, and too angry). Decisions made during these times are usually regretted because we didn’t think all the way through them.

  • Focus on the facts and ignore the lies.

  • Speak positively about your situation.

  • Surround yourself around people who inspire you.

  • Listen to motivational talks.

  • Read motivational stories and books.

  • Encourage someone else who is going through a tough time.

Important Note: If you are constantly dealing with thoughts that you cannot control, and find yourself to be sad or depressed all of the time, I would recommend seeing a counselor

or talking to your doctor about your feelings. Sometimes you may need additional assistance getting through these challenges.

To purchase the I STILL Want To Be A Mom book, click here: https://www.istillwanttobeamom.club/purchase

**taken from page 76 of I Still Want To Be A Mom

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